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Somebody, pinch me

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-Katelan

Sometimes a movie makes you cry. Sometimes it makes you laugh. You leave the theater or hit the stop button, teary-eyed, with your side split from laughter or infuriated by the two hours you’ve wasted. But it’s not very often I’m left thinking, racking my brain, putting myself in the place of the protagonist thinking for hours, “What would I have done?”

But I did when I watched TiMER.

Timer movie poster

Props to Jessi for putting me on to this movie.

Here’s the premise:

Oona is a thirty-something dentist who lives with her stepsister Steph who’s around the same age. Oona is looking for love and Steph is waiting for love, but not in the way you might expect.

At a certain point, the quest for love is sometimes driven by a deadline. You want to get married before you have kids. You want to be financially stable to get married. You need a job to be financially stable (whatever that meas these days). And you need a degree to get a job. But what if the timeline is not so strategic, not so practical, but proven science?

TiMER is set in present-day, but a present-day in where when you reach adolescence, you can get a timer implanted on your wrist.

TiMER

When you do this, one of two things can happen:

  • Your timer begins a countdown, be it 5 days or in the case of Oona’s stepsister Steph, 5262 days 14 hours 56 min 2 seconds. These are the days until you meet your soul mate.
  • Or, you can get your timer and when it is implanted, it could be blank. This means that your soul mate has not gotten their timer yet. This is what has happened to the protagonist, Oona.

No more guesswork. The phrase “You’ll just know,” is a little more tangible. How will you know? When your timer counts down to the final day, you have 24 hours in which you will find your soul mate. When you make eye contact with him/her, your timer and theirs starts beeping like crazy, and there you have it. True love, your life partner, happily ever after, etc.

(It’s not a sci-fi flick at all really. No hovering cars or drastically rigid asymmetrical haircuts. It’s just a world like this one, but with timers.)

Oona lives by this gadget, the timer. She believes in it and makes decisions by it. She dates men without timers and after a couple dates, she takes them to get a timer in hopes that hers will turn on and they will be soulmates. It’s become something of a hobby.

She shows little interest in these men, but dating anyone with a timer already, to her, is a “moot point.” But then, the meet-cute. She meets a younger, unsuccessful guy with messy roommates. But the worst part: He already has a timer, which means they can’t be soul mates.

Of course there are many plot twists but it brings up some situations that make you wonder:

  • Would you get a timer if it’s 100% proven?
  • Would you date someone with a timer who you know isn’t your soul mate? Or would it just be a moot point?
  • In the movie, timers have only been around for a decade or so, so what if you were already married? Would you get one and risk knowing that you are not married to your soul mate?
  • What if you fall in love with someone who you know isn’t your soul mate?
  • Is it fate? Is it destiny? Is it just a self-fulfilling prophecy?
  • Is a guarantee really what you need to put  a restless mind at ease?
  • What if you are to find your soul mate when you are barely at age to date?

I can say that I wouldn’t get one, but I would certainly be tempted. I mean, a couple bad dates and then you just think, “Skrew it. I’ll just go get a timer.”

It’s along the lines of that witch’s eyeball in Big Fish.

Big Fish witch

If you could look in the eyeball of an old woman and see your death, would you want to? On one hand, if you see yourself dying old, you would be able to take risks your whole life, knowing that you would survive them. On the other hand, if you find you die young, well, that’s a little discouraging.

In both scenarios, witch’s eyeball or timer, I think ignorance is bliss. Life is guesswork and mistakes.While there would be a reassurance in knowing, the freedom of not knowing would be altogether more spontaneous and less frigid and formulated. Oona’s love interest Mikey says it best:

“You’re sweating your future right? It’s a shame because you could have a more exciting present if you really wanted.”

There are no big names besides Buffy the Vampire Slayer‘s Emma Caulfield as Oona. In a refreshing way, you can go into the movie with no expectations beyond my humble suggestion. It’s kind of new to DVD and it’s on the “Instant” section of Netflix right now. There are a couple unanswered questions in the plot, but still, I highly suggest it.

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I’m not the most music savvy person, so I don’t write album reviews, but this time I was inspired.

The Black Keys have been around since 2001, and I dig ‘em, but I always forget about them. Their new album “Brothers,” made me remember. Well, the album isn’t fresh-off-the-press new, but I’m slow to the punch in the music world, so give me a break. Anyway, I’m digging their sixth album. It’s been on repeat in the car for a week.

The band is Dan Auerbach (left) on guitar and vocals and Patrick Carney(right) on drums.

The Black Keys

Their alternative blues, kind of indie style has grit, soul, depth and real character. The lyrics are simple, but genius. Catchy, but not expected. Soulful, but with an edge.

That’s as much music talk I can do without reaching for some vague metaphors about how rockin’ the album is, so let me just cut to the chase.

Here are my favorite tracks on the album:

Everlasting Light

Let me be your everlasting light
The sun when there is none
I’m a Shepard for you
And I’ll guide you through
Let me be your everlasting light

Let me be your everlasting light
A train going away from pain
Love is the coal
That makes this train roll
Let me be your everlasting light

It’s a fan video, but there isn’t a music video for this one. Plus, they sound good live anyway. More to love.


Next Girl

Well, the look on the cake
It ain’t always the taste
My ex-girl she had
Such a beautiful face
I wanted love
But not for myself
But for the girl
So she could love herself

Oh my next girl
Will be nothing like my ex-girl
I made mistakes back then
I’ll never do it again
With my next girl
She’ll be nothing like my ex-girl
It was a painful dance
And I got a second chance

And they have a sense of humor


Tighten Up

I wanted love
I needed love
Most of all
Most of all
Someone said true love was dead
And I’m bound to fall
Bound to fall for you
Oh what can I do

Take my badge
But my heart remains
Loving you, baby child
Tighten up on you reins
Your runnin’ wild
Runnin’ wild
It’s true

And the best video…


According to Wiki, “‘Brothers’ sold over 73,000 copies in its first week giving it a #3 rank on the Billboard Albums chart, their highest rank yet.” So congrats, Black Keys on some kick ass tunes and thanks for some summer listening. Also, thanks for using Cooper Black on your oh-so-clever album cover.

The Black Keys Brothers

"Brothers" released on May 18, 2010.

I can’t make any of their shows, but they’re on tour if you want to catch ‘em.

Let me be your everlasting light
The sun when there is none
Im a Shepard for you
And Ill guide you through
Let me be your everlasting light

Let me be your everlasting light
Ill hold and never scold
In me you can confide
When no ones by your side
Let me be your everlasting light

Oh baby, cant you see?
Im shining just for you
Loneliness is over
Dark days are through
Theyre through

Let me be your everlasting light
A train going away from pain
Love is the coal
That makes this train roll
Let me be your everlasting light

Let me be your everlasting light

Let me be your everlasting light

Be your everlasting light

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I’m not the most music savvy person, so I don’t write album reviews, but this time I was inspired.

The Black Keys have been around since 2001, and I dig ‘em, but I always forget about them. Their new album “Brothers,” made me remember. Well, the album isn’t fresh-off-the-press new, but I’m slow to the punch in the music world, so give me a break. Anyway, I’m digging their sixth album. It’s been on repeat in the car for a week.

The band is Dan Auerbach (left) on guitar and vocals and Patrick Carney(right) on drums.

The Black Keys

Their alternative blues, kind of indie style has grit, soul, depth and real character. The lyrics are simple, but genius. Catchy, but not expected. Soulful, but with an edge.

That’s as much music talk I can do without reaching for some vague metaphors about how rockin’ the album is, so let me just cut to the chase.

Here are my favorite tracks on the album:

Everlasting Light

Let me be your everlasting light
The sun when there is none
I’m a Shepard for you
And I’ll guide you through
Let me be your everlasting light

Let me be your everlasting light
A train going away from pain
Love is the coal
That makes this train roll
Let me be your everlasting light

It’s a fan video, but there isn’t a music video for this one. Plus, they sound good live anyway. More to love.


Next Girl

Well, the look on the cake
It ain’t always the taste
My ex-girl she had
Such a beautiful face
I wanted love
But not for myself
But for the girl
So she could love herself

Oh my next girl
Will be nothing like my ex-girl
I made mistakes back then
I’ll never do it again
With my next girl
She’ll be nothing like my ex-girl
It was a painful dance
And I got a second chance

And they have a sense of humor


Tighten Up

I wanted love
I needed love
Most of all
Most of all
Someone said true love was dead
And I’m bound to fall
Bound to fall for you
Oh what can I do

Take my badge
But my heart remains
Loving you, baby child
Tighten up on you reins
Your runnin’ wild
Runnin’ wild
It’s true

And the best video…


According to Wiki, “‘Brothers’ sold over 73,000 copies in its first week giving it a #3 rank on the Billboard Albums chart, their highest rank yet.” So congrats, Black Keys on some kick ass tunes and thanks for some summer listening. Also, thanks for using Cooper Black on your oh-so-clever album cover.

The Black Keys Brothers

"Brothers" released on May 18, 2010.

I can’t make any of their shows, but they’re on tour if you want to catch ‘em.

Let me be your everlasting light
The sun when there is none
Im a Shepard for you
And Ill guide you through
Let me be your everlasting light

Let me be your everlasting light
Ill hold and never scold
In me you can confide
When no ones by your side
Let me be your everlasting light

Oh baby, cant you see?
Im shining just for you
Loneliness is over
Dark days are through
Theyre through

Let me be your everlasting light
A train going away from pain
Love is the coal
That makes this train roll
Let me be your everlasting light

Let me be your everlasting light

Let me be your everlasting light

Be your everlasting light

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And so begins the summer shows. You spend this time catching up on fall seasons or just tolerating the summer seasons until the season premiere of “Glee.” Well, maybe that’s just me, but other than “Mad Men,” there’s not much to look forward to until fall. So, I watched the premiere of Bravo’s “Work of Art: The Next Great Artist” with much skepticism.

The show is the same premise as “Top Chef” and “Project Runway,” except with fine artists with varying specialties.

Here’s how it goes:

  • The artists get a challenge that they get about day and a half to complete.
  • Their projects go up in the gallery where the judges and some selected or general public view the work.
  • Someone gets picked as the best and they get immunity and someone gets kicked off.

Whoever wins the whole enchilada goes home with $100 grand from Prismacolor and their own solo show at the Brooklyn Museum. Sweet, no?

Being the art school kid, my first thought about this show was, “How can they make art a competition?” “Who are these snobs to say what’s good and what’s not?”

But how hypocritical of me. I get graded for art, be it writing or graphic design, all the time. And if I’ve learned anything in school, it’s that there is good art and there is bad art. Art should communicate and make you feel something, or nothing, if that’s what was intended. So, I gave it a chance, and I’ll be damned if I’m not hooked.

Contestants range from a grey-haired cooky landlord to an untrained amateur filmmaker.

Judges: Jeanne Rohalyn, Simon de Pury (the Tim Gunn of the show), China Chow, Bill Powers and Jerry Saltz

Executive Producer and art-enthusiast Sarah Jessica Parker encouraged the artists, “Be brave, be competitive, be yourself.”

My favorite artists to watch (not my favorite artists, just the best to watch):

Miles

Miles is a young art student from the University of Minnesota. He wears his shirts inside out, his hair is often disheveled; he wears art school like he owns it. Yeah, OK, he’s a bit of a heartthrob. Don’t let the photo fool you though, he’s got some massive bags under his eyes. (Still cute though.)

I’m no doctor, but Miles’ OCD is probably the cause of these premature puffy eyes. Miles loses sleep over it. In the last challenge, contestants had to make a sculpture from found objects—a junkyard of old technology. Overwhelmed by the site and the urge to organize every piece of it by date, he just slept while he was supposed to be getting supplies.

But he knows how to make a dark room in hours and use every material you’d ever need which has helped him win the past two challenges.

Judith

I can’t be sure of her exact age, but she could be a grandparent of several of the contestants. Still, she’s on her game—a game she’s been playing for a while and doesn’t intend on changing.

She’s stuck in her ways, as outrageous as they may be, and she isn’t budging for anyone. She’s not hard on hearing, but critiques seem to go on deaf ears. Established as she may be, she’s a bad sport.

Erik

Erik’s only evidence of artistic experience in the public’s eye is his short film “The Ghost of Christmas Presents” at the Cannes Film Festival. His work is dark despite his constant smile.

His work has that kind of got that misunderstood teenage angst about it, but he’s no teenager. I’m rooting for him, but in the first episode as part of the bottom three in the competition, he used his inexperience as a crutch.

Nao

She’s the loud-mouthed curvy performance artist with attitude and an opinion on everything—the only opinion. She got put in her place in the first episode when her high-concept portrait of Miles. Too high-concept for anyone to understand…or like. Her motto: “I’m not responsible for your experience of my work.”

But does this show contradict the point of art?

Fine art has always had this reputation as being a secret for the elite. Even with the greats, Basquiat, Warhol, Pollock, it’s all about being in the circle, being able to afford the circle…or so it seems. It’s an underground sensation of what’s new, what hasn’t been done, but it’s not underground–it’s everywhere.

Art is communication.

Is fine art being exploited by putting it on reality television? Is this the last stop on the way to some sort of Big Brother TV generation? Or is this just the exposure the art world needs? Maybe now, people will get it, or try to. If nothing else, realize there’s not as much to get.

People who don’t think art is a competition are fooling themselves. Everything is a competition, it’s just a matter of whether you acknowledge it. Trust me, if money is involved, you have an opponent.

Wednesdays at 10/9c “Work of Art” comes on Bravo. The first two episode have aired, but Bravo tends to play them often. I recommend it.

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And so begins the summer shows. You spend this time catching up on fall seasons or just tolerating the summer seasons until the season premiere of “Glee.” Well, maybe that’s just me, but other than “Mad Men,” there’s not much to look forward to until fall. So, I watched the premiere of Bravo’s “Work of Art: The Next Great Artist” with much skepticism.

The show is the same premise as “Top Chef” and “Project Runway,” except with fine artists with varying specialties.

Here’s how it goes:

  • The artists get a challenge that they get about day and a half to complete.
  • Their projects go up in the gallery where the judges and some selected or general public view the work.
  • Someone gets picked as the best and they get immunity and someone gets kicked off.

Whoever wins the whole enchilada goes home with $100 grand from Prismacolor and their own solo show at the Brooklyn Museum. Sweet, no?

Being the art school kid, my first thought about this show was, “How can they make art a competition?” “Who are these snobs to say what’s good and what’s not?”

But how hypocritical of me. I get graded for art, be it writing or graphic design, all the time. And if I’ve learned anything in school, it’s that there is good art and there is bad art. Art should communicate and make you feel something, or nothing, if that’s what was intended. So, I gave it a chance, and I’ll be damned if I’m not hooked.

Contestants range from a grey-haired cooky landlord to an untrained amateur filmmaker.

Judges: Jeanne Rohalyn, Simon de Pury (the Tim Gunn of the show), China Chow, Bill Powers and Jerry Saltz

Executive Producer and art-enthusiast Sarah Jessica Parker encouraged the artists, “Be brave, be competitive, be yourself.”

My favorite artists to watch (not my favorite artists, just the best to watch):

Miles

Miles is a young art student from the University of Minnesota. He wears his shirts inside out, his hair is often disheveled; he wears art school like he owns it. Yeah, OK, he’s a bit of a heartthrob. Don’t let the photo fool you though, he’s got some massive bags under his eyes. (Still cute though.)

I’m no doctor, but Miles’ OCD is probably the cause of these premature puffy eyes. Miles loses sleep over it. In the last challenge, contestants had to make a sculpture from found objects—a junkyard of old technology. Overwhelmed by the site and the urge to organize every piece of it by date, he just slept while he was supposed to be getting supplies.

But he knows how to make a dark room in hours and use every material you’d ever need which has helped him win the past two challenges.

Judith

I can’t be sure of her exact age, but she could be a grandparent of several of the contestants. Still, she’s on her game—a game she’s been playing for a while and doesn’t intend on changing.

She’s stuck in her ways, as outrageous as they may be, and she isn’t budging for anyone. She’s not hard on hearing, but critiques seem to go on deaf ears. Established as she may be, she’s a bad sport.

Erik

Erik’s only evidence of artistic experience in the public’s eye is his short film “The Ghost of Christmas Presents” at the Cannes Film Festival. His work is dark despite his constant smile.

His work has that kind of got that misunderstood teenage angst about it, but he’s no teenager. I’m rooting for him, but in the first episode as part of the bottom three in the competition, he used his inexperience as a crutch.

Nao

She’s the loud-mouthed curvy performance artist with attitude and an opinion on everything—the only opinion. She got put in her place in the first episode when her high-concept portrait of Miles. Too high-concept for anyone to understand…or like. Her motto: “I’m not responsible for your experience of my work.”

But does this show contradict the point of art?

Fine art has always had this reputation as being a secret for the elite. Even with the greats, Basquiat, Warhol, Pollock, it’s all about being in the circle, being able to afford the circle…or so it seems. It’s an underground sensation of what’s new, what hasn’t been done, but it’s not underground–it’s everywhere.

Art is communication.

Is fine art being exploited by putting it on reality television? Is this the last stop on the way to some sort of Big Brother TV generation? Or is this just the exposure the art world needs? Maybe now, people will get it, or try to. If nothing else, realize there’s not as much to get.

People who don’t think art is a competition are fooling themselves. Everything is a competition, it’s just a matter of whether you acknowledge it. Trust me, if money is involved, you have an opponent.

Wednesdays at 10/9c “Work of Art” comes on Bravo. The first two episode have aired, but Bravo tends to play them often. I recommend it.

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This summer, since I will not have endless imminent deadlines and projects to turn in, I have to find a hobby. I’ve had a lot so far, but never gotten far past amateur with any of them: oil painting, jewelry making, cooking, My next amateur endeavor is going to be encaustic painting.

It’s a process of painting with hot colored beeswax. A lot of people pay a fee in a studio when they’re getting started. Buying all the supplies can be pricey, but if you plan on doing it for a while, it’s worth it.

From what I understand, you need different colors of wax, a wax hotplate thing, and whatever you are painting on.

I’m sure there are many more intricacies I will find out along the way. In a few mere months, I just might be an encaustic Picasso or da Vinci.

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